If you or someone you know is constantly striving for perfection, you may understand the very real struggle that “perfectionists” face. The term ‘perfect’ is a word many people would want to be associated with, but true perfectionists would probably tell you otherwise. Often mistakenly interchanged with being ambitious, perfectionism can actually show up in three different ways:

  • Self-directed perfectionism: when you expect perfection from yourself
  • Socially prescribed perfectionism: when you feel societal pressure to be perfect
  • Other-oriented perfectionism: when you hold other people to impossibly high standards
Many who strive to achieve their own idealized version of perfection effectively run themselves into the ground, unable to maintain the exhausting standard. Perfectionism is associated with depression and a number of other disorders (anxiety-related, eating-related, OCD, etc.) due to constant rumination, feelings of shame and guilt, and never feeling up to par.

It may be time to dig deeper into perfectionist behaviors if you or someone you know frequently experiences the following:
  • The idea of doing a task anything less than perfect makes you not want to complete the task at all
  • Rather than celebrating achievements or goals reached, you’re focused on what you did “wrong” or “imperfectly”
  • Feeling ashamed or incompetent if someone offers constructive criticism of a task or project you completed
  • Procrastinates or ignores difficult tasks completely for fear of failure
Perfectionism is not the same thing as being ambitious. While perfectionists can be extremely afraid of failure, those with big ambitions are consistently looking to improve but recognize that perfection is unattainable. Ambitious people are often driven by achievement, rather than the fear of failure. Ambitious people tend to be resilient, set realistic goals, embrace feedback, and focus on the journey and outcome.

As behavioral health professionals in a sometimes perfection-driven society, we must encourage healthy striving over perfectionism by:
  1. Learning to control thoughts and tendencies by understanding your patterns: once you understand, you can challenge your thoughts with concrete facts.
  2. Allowing yourself to make mistakes: to err is human, and making mistakes is truly part of growth.
  3. Changing your self talk: turning negatives into positives can be challenging, but putting in the effort to do so can positively impact your self esteem.
  4. Practicing accepting good enough: rather than focusing on complete perfection, try to see that you’ve done a good job. While it may not be your idealistic perfect outcome, you completed the task.
Let’s support a job well done and ambitions achieved and focus on the journey, rather than being “perfect.”

Why Perfectionism Can Be a Mental Health Risk